How (and why) to celebrate her first period
I would venture to guess that 95% of women currently raising daughters did not have any sort of first period celebration or a broader celebration/rite of passage during the puberty ages. Of the 1000’s and 1000’s of women I have worked with and spoken to over the years, the VAST majority of women report little to no helpful conversations with their own mom about puberty. Some of you may even feel a slight/strong aversion to the idea of celebrating menstruation; I say this because most women have an “its complicated” relationship with their period.
S0, what happens when we are given: good information, open dialogue, support and even a celebration?
What happens if we know more about menstruation? I promise it isn’t rocket science and I also promise that there is SO much more information that would benefit each of us! If we know more about it then we can make adjustments in our life and bodies so that it doesn’t feel YUCK, hurt us and cause all of the symptoms that we think of as “normal”. They maybe normal but they aren’t natural; indeed most pain or symptoms are trying to tell us that something is out of balance.
Of course we menstruate for several reasons, one big one that isn’t really highlighted is that menstruation is a vital part of our system! Menstruation is our 5th vital sign and speaks to our overall health and wellness. In essence menstruation is an incredible part of our life that literally demonstrates vitality and health, of course we want to understand, support and celebrate that!
How does the cultural narrative and her personal experience change when we give words, knowledge, support and even a celebration to this massive change for our daughter?
Think about how different things might have felt for you? What if you grew up in a culture that celebrated menstruation and didn’t think it was embarrassing, weird, gross, or a bummer? Would it have changed your experience?
According to cultural neuroscience it definitely would have changed your experience and influenced your actual hormones!
Many cultures throughout time and history did and do mark this time period with an initiation that includes a celebration and most of these cultures involve the entire community/family. In these cultures this is as normal of a celebration as a birthday, rather than being seen as “weird, hippy” or not worth the time, they in fact are honoring life itself.
So what can a first period celebration look like and/or how do you plan one?
Well, of course there isn’t one right way and each one will look as unique as your kiddo; here are some questions and thoughts to guide you.
What does she want?
I have talked to many mothers and daughters over the years as they brainstorm their celebration and there have been so many different ideas. Some want friends and family there and some want simple solo time with their mom. I have heard of camping trips, bonfires, parties, spa days, dinner/movie, and sleep overs just to name a few. Some of my favorite emails are mom’s describing how much the celebration meant. Remember most of us aren’t going for pinterest worthy here (although if that’s your zone go for it) the essence is celebratory, supportive (especially if she is scared, sad etc. about this change) and connecting.
When?
If you are celebrating menstruation when is a good time to have such a celebration, since you never know when it will start? The best idea is to have had the conversation and created the plan as early as 10/11 years old since this is the age when many girls start their periods. Once she does start, well then sometime in the days or month/two after you can have the celebration.
A special gift for her!
No matter what type of celebration she may like I recommend including some sort of special gift! This could be something like a letter from each of her female family members offering her advice, wisdom, memories and appreciation that you place in a special box. Similarly it could be a bead that each person buys and you string on a special charm bracelet or beaded necklace for her. Anything that shows her community support. If this isn’t an option for you a letter/bead/necklace from you works perfect!
Additionally, you may want to gift here a first moon basket.
This celebration may/may not seem a bit strange to you. This celebration is a simple way to shift the cultural story and begin to embrace our natural cycles, as well as educate, empower and celebrate our kids.
Comment below or send an email to share you experience of her celebration!
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What you can specifically do to easily and naturally support your daughter’s cycle to be in greater balance.
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How supporting her with natural tools is the best way to support her over all health and wellness.
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